Loving Father and Earthly Angels

Where do I begin? I fear this post will makes Jodi's post's look like quick short notes...:) Oh my the overwhelming feeling that I have right now!
Things have been tight for us financially, which is fine, but then things just started to unravel all together. At least that is the way I was viewing it. I was trying to ignore the little things, but they all seemed to build up. I kept trying to keep going, keep reading the Bible, keep praying. I would ask Jodi why, why are we doing this. It was always something different. School, housework, being a good wife, Mannatech, loving others, housework, cars breaking down, the kids, honoring Steve, housework, lack of food, lack of order, housework....well you get the picture. Can you see the one I struggle with the most :) Anyway, I see now how blessed I am and I was. In all my selfish fog I could not see I WAS being blessed over and over again but I could not see it. How often these blessing would happen...Mom and dad would give us money for food, or to go out to eat. They would get the kids and us clothes and give us tons of Mannatech products. Granny (Steve's mom) helping with bills sewing new clothes or mending torn ones. Jodi continually encouraging me, don't give up, we are blessed. Kenny preaching all the amazing sermons he preaches. Steve working and trying so hard to provide for his family, helping out around the house and loving me so kindly. Vickie teaching the kids and giving them such joy. All my nieces and nephews always so loving and kind. Loving comments by my family on my blog. And my ever growing baby! Now kicking and moving so much. So many blessings I can't believe it!
But no, I could not see it. I was so focused on my little problems I could not see the amazing angles that were all around me.
Well, yesterday I could take it no more. I was a brat, a grouch and I feel terrible to say not nice to my sweet children. After trying to take a nap (and the kids coming in and waking me up for the third time) I came out in a huff. I would have drove away....but all three cars we have were all broken and not running. Is God good or what, well He's funny. Really I would not have drove away but the thought sounded good. Guess this sounds like a confession, but really it is a huge praise report!!!! Anyway, as I was saying when I came out of my room the phone rang and it was Jodi. She said, "how are you doing? " The tears came! I tried to cover it up, but she knew. She said "I knew it! I knew you were having a hard time today!" Oh I love my sister! We talked for while and she prayed with me. It was awesome. Then Granny came over with more sewing stuff she made for the girls and some shirts for the boys. Blessed again! Mom called and just wanted to say she loved me and check on me! Oh my what love!! The tears came again but I had to act tough again. After Granny left Steve had to go to town so I asked if I could go. He took me! Sweetie. I knew I had to repent to him. I had a lot of talking to do. We went to town. After a call I had to be on (which again God used to speak to me, "never give up". It was said...Winner's never quit and quitters never win!) Steve and I talked and it was awesome. Steve told me how all this struggle had been teaching him to rely on Christ. To find joy in trials, to trust that HE Christ Jesus is the one in control. We are to work with all our heart and know that He will reward. Sometimes it may not be a big sum of money, but the joy of doing the job well and right is the best reward. It was wonderful. He said it a lot better but you get the picture. Before we came home we had to go to mom's house and there we were met with Hugh and Jodi, Full of smiles and encouraging words, and some money for us. Wow, we could pay some needed bills. :)
So I came home, yes better, but it was still a struggle. I gave forced smiles but I was trying harder. Then today the Angles came and overwhelmed me! There was no hope for stupid me anymore!
Jodi, Liisa, Mom, Kaila, Karissa, Destiny, David, and Devin came over to clean my house. Mom, David and Collin took tons of my stinky laundry to the laundry mat. And all that while I was out with Granny who came to capture me and take me somewhere that was "a secret". To the grocery store!! She filled up two baskets full of food for us! My refrigerator is full, my house is clean, my mind is in a whirlwind! Oh then Mom took us all out for dinner, and Liisa gave me this beautiful card with words of love and a check. Ok the tears were still coming but this time they were of joy, humility and love! God is soooooo amazing! I can't believe I ever doubt what might happen. Why do I ever question if it's all worth it? It is! It is! How I love my family, how I love my Heavenly Father! Thank you Lord for your blessings! I am humbled by the angels that surround me. I want to pay everyone back, but how could I ever do that? I wish I knew, I love them all so much! Thank you everyone! The Goldman Family is in awe tonight. We are blessed beyond words! This is a Sabbath night to remember. Thanks!